They Slimed Me

I had my ultrasound!

It was disgusting. It’s basically a Wii controller covered with a sex-aid lubricant, and smeared all over whatever you’re having scanned. In my case, it was my neck, which is harmless enough. But I kept thinking “if I had testicular or prostate cancer, would I have the same attractive lab tech?” I hope I never find out. But if I do, stay tuned to this blog!

Nothing really to report. I saw my ultrasounds and they look the same as every other ultrasound I’ve ever seen, like someone vomited a bunch of Rorschach tests. The doctor (Doctor Doh — and I am not making that up) couldn’t tell me much on just a cursory glance, but he’s allegedly writing up a report right now. He said there were a couple of suspicious places, and I am going to write to President Obama to see if he can strike the word “suspicious” from the medical vocabulary.

I hope to pick up a copy of the D’oh! report this afternoon. I’ll post a summary tonight or tomorrow.

But I have scheduled my appointment with the surgeon. I am meeting him the afternoon of 2/17, and if all goes well (i.e., we feel that he’s not a jerk or an idiot) we will schedule the surgery itself then as well. They tell me he can normally work in surgery like this within a few days, so by the end of next week we might be in business.

Also: I have been in jury duty all this week. Justice was served on the case this morning, and I can finally talk about it. Stay tuned for that too.

2 Comments on “They Slimed Me

  1. My urologist uses the same lube, for some more intimate work. I think I’m dating her, now.

  2. Don’t blame you. Ask her if she can get it on eBay.I have it on good authority that it’s some sort of electrolyte gel, not a sex cream. But that same authority is known to hang out at Insurrection, so both answers might be true.

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