Category: movies

What is Noah’s problem?

If I understood the Noah movie correctly… God tells Maximus to build an ark with his wife, the ass-to-ass girl from Requiem for a Dream, his son Percy Jackson, his daughter-in-law Hermione Granger, and two lesser sons, the… Read More

Choose your ally!

I have an important goal with this post: verifying my RSS feed is working after messing with it all weekend. But also, I want to know something from you. If you were going to recruit one combat-ready organization… Read More

Missed opportunities in “Gravity”

By now, anyone interested has seen Neil deGrasse Tyson’s slaps at Gravity’s science. There are other space nerds who have done the same. Leroy Chiao notes that Sandra Bullock and George Clooney are far too attractive to be… Read More

All my powers

Warning! Huge spoilers for both the new Man of Steel movie and the Superman movie from 1978. The new one isn’t bad. It’s better than its Rotten Tomato score, which I guess evens the scales. The new Star… Read More

Marius Pontmercy is a shallow butt-nugget

(Ummm… spoiler warning.) I’ve vented often about how the Twilight series teaches impressionable people the wrong lessons about what love is supposed to be. Everyone else has too. At least we’re done with that series, right? We’ve learned… Read More

Peter Parker is capable of multiple origins

Some of you hippies think big companies only care about the 1%. Turns out you’re right, at least when it comes to Marvel Entertainment and Columbia Pictures. They have created a movie meant for the 1% of the… Read More

Please help: I need a Star Wars character

When I got divorced, I remember thinking “at least I don’t have to follow her orders any more.” But obviously I missed some of the fine print, because I am now caught in this plan involving gender-bending Star… Read More

The Founding Fathers loved those man muffins

I’ve heard that every straight person has some latent homosexual tendencies. I think I heard that from Sam Kinison, so [citation needed]. Assuming it’s true, my own have blown their fuses after my traditional Independence Day celebration: sitting… Read More

Behind the scenes at a movie pitch meeting

Producer: I have a mother of an idea. Agent: Hit me, babe. Producer: Abraham Lincoln. Agent: What about him? Producer: We need an Abraham Lincoln biopic! With the election, it’s timely too! It can be a big anagram… Read More

Rock of previous ages

What describes your memories of 80s rock music? It was the greatest time in rock history. My Dexy’s Midnight Runners album was instrumental in keeping my coke addiction and massive brain damage manageable. There was no 80s rock… Read More